Waiting

I chide myself for not weeping today,
for the tears won't fall,
no they won't flow
not today, not any day...

I chide myself for being so weak,
for my weakness brings me hope
and hope will be my end.

I chide myself for the thoughts,
oh so childlike,
I only wish they would stop,
spare me this time, but they won't.

I chide myself for the pain I caused,
should the scars heal with time,
should the ache in my chest abate...
It is for that day I wait.

Let there be darkness

"Coz it's alright, just follow the light- Don't be afraid of the dark"-Travis

I've always loved the dark. Strange as it sounds, happiness finds me there. Sometimes, when I come back from a long day in college, I simply love switching the lights off in my room and just relaxing.
Something about darkness intrigues me and as I try to understand that today, I will share my thoughts and discoveries with you.


Some questions come to my mind.

What is darkness, really?
Why is it that when I type 'darkness' in any search engine, I get redirected to 'fear related quotes'?
Finally, why do most people fear the dark?


As I try to address these questions in my mind, I can't help but dwell on the last one which is- why do people fear the dark? Perhaps this fear is deep rooted in some, and superficial or not-so-deep-rooted in others. Humans have a tendency to fear the unknown and sadly, darkness does bring with it a sense of uncertainty.  You never know what darkness will bring with it. Whether it is stubbing your toe twelve times over which is rather painful, or finding something unpleasant...or simply having a strange sense of  vulnerability-the dark can scare you.

Why does darkness bring out the feeling of being vulnerable in us? What is it that compels us to feel afraid of it, haunted even, by it? Perhaps the reason is that it is in the darkness, that we really feel alone.
No one wants to be alone. Sure, we have those days when we want to be left alone and don't feel like talking or interacting with others. But really, to be alone isn't the best thing always.  Loneliness finds its friend in darkness. Together, they like to haunt us, sneer at us and put us in a very cold place.

 There is one thing though, that really intrigues me. Consider a scenario where you are home alone and it's night time. The lights go off. You struggle to find your way in the dark, feeling the furniture-anything that comes in your way and you take small, careful steps. So, so afraid you might fall and get hurt. I like to dig a little deeper into this entire process. Try to look at it from a different angle. Just as we struggle to find our way in the darkness, we struggle to find our way in the darkest periods of our lives. We stumble a couple of times, maybe even fall once or twice. But we rise. We get up and we pursue our quest to find ourselves, to find the solutions to our problems and to find the answers to our questions.

So before I sign off today, I'd like to reiterate that darkness is not to be confused with something that is negative and something that we should fear. Sometimes our darkest days can be the best thing that could have ever happened to us as they develop us, redefining who we are as a person. Ultimately, darkness will transition into light. Perhaps it is only then that we realize how important darkness really is, for it is darkness that teaches us to appreciate the light.


Xoxo
Nikita

The song I couldn't complete.

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who's the biggest fool of them all?
Tales of lies and deceit,
Beg for mercy at your feet,
No love lost, No love gained,
My words will be all that remains,
I won't fight, will show restraint
I will never confess again,
Will never hurt,
Won't ever break,
will never speak for your sake...

Random musings

Those empty eyes,

They stare at me,

As I try to search for something deeper,

I find nothing.

Thoughts flooding my head,

When all I want is silence,

But the spirits speak to me.

What is there?

What is not?

Confusion and chaos.

The sound of a shattering glass,

dark and morbid,

haunts me from beyond.

Is there some air?

Breathe life into me.

I’m coming undone…

Photographs

A few photographs that I took recently.
I simply loved the colors of the first snap. I'm not big on chunky jewelry as such but together all of them sort of amalgamated to give a burst of color!

The second shot I took when I was feeling slightly melancholy. I'm partial to black-and-white formats, plus I think it brings out the shadows and the interplay of light and shadows well.

The third was just a random experiment. The main idea behind the snap was the importance of time in our lives, the globe-like shape with a tiny clock in the middle led me to think about how in our world time is such a crucial player. Indeed, timing is everything.

The last shot was taken at Khan market, New Delhi. I just wanted to capture the hustle and bustle of a typical weekday in Khan and I hope I have captured the energy of the place.

Someone told me recently that I should start practicing more with my camera. Touche! I definitely will. :)

New Beginnings

Three years have come and gone, and I stand today wondering how so much time has just gone by without me noticing. All those moments that have made up this time are etched in my memory, I wouldn't say like imprints on sand as the water washes them away. No, these memories are mine to keep.

So much has happened. So many ups and downs. above all, I have realized that in between the mayhem called "College"  I have managed to find some wonderful friends! As I sit now, reminiscing about the days we have spent together, I wonder where will life take us now? While it's true that new chapters are going to begin in all our lives, it is also true that we won't ever forget each other.

This is a time for new beginnings. For all of us. And I hope with all my heart that wherever life takes us, it will bring us back together time and again.

I love you, my girls.

That's all for now dear readers, I will be back soon to update you all.

Xoxo
Nikita

Dreams.

The little dreamer who always dreamt,

Of a land far away where her days were spent,

Where she was the sole ruler of her own destiny,

Where luck played the joker and she played the queen.

Far far away and hidden from the world,

There danced the spirits and there played the girl,

It was where she could be anyone she wanted to be,

Where she wasn’t afraid to be herself, where she could believe.

She always wanted to sing her song,

And in her little wonderland everyone played along,

They told her she could reach for the stars if she tried,

But the little girl was scared and her dreams just died.

The little girl soon began to lose her voice,

What a shame, what a shame! For she always had a choice,

She could merge the two worlds and choose to be,

For our world wasn’t so cruel after all, she could see.