Waiting

I chide myself for not weeping today,
for the tears won't fall,
no they won't flow
not today, not any day...

I chide myself for being so weak,
for my weakness brings me hope
and hope will be my end.

I chide myself for the thoughts,
oh so childlike,
I only wish they would stop,
spare me this time, but they won't.

I chide myself for the pain I caused,
should the scars heal with time,
should the ache in my chest abate...
It is for that day I wait.