It's been a long time since I've written and posted anything on the blog. I don't have any particular reason for refraining from putting pen to paper,only that I was going through a tumultuous time in my life and found myself facing a chronic case of 'writer's block'.
The thing about these times of downturns are that they make you think and introspect.
Ofcourse,these are the dark and gloomy days when everything seems grey and nothing seems to matter,no one seems to care. You find yourself caught up in feelings that come from a very deep seated place within, feelings that come from the more vulnerable side and you often feel like you are undergoing something you don't understand. These feelings can overwhelm you, often make you lose your sense of rationality. Perhaps we don't comprehend them because we choose to block them when they initially surface. Blocked they may be, but they stay in our subconscious. And before we know it,we are caught up in a barrage of emotions we never knew existed in us. Often, we get caught up in a spiral of negativity,which was the case with me.
However,the thing about these times are that they make you realize a lot of things, As I did. What I learnt was that these times are necessary. IT IS NECESSARY TO FAIL. It is necessary to take the trip downhill. It is okay to feel low, even chronically depressed. Because it is only these times that shake you up and make you realise that complacency does not help. You realize what is important in life . You realize that whileyou may have certain goals,it is perfectly okay to not reach them immediately. Everything takes its own sweet time. These down times make you more resilient and infuse in you a sense of longing to get out of them. For the key is with you, It is only you who can unlock yourself up and let yourself be again. It is upto us to get out of the cycle of negativity. Yes, we get a new lease of life. Just like I feel I have been born again.
It is a new life that I have now, And I intend to do the most I can with my new lease of life. All the passions I wanted to pursue, I will pursue them. I will learn music, I will write, I will learn photography (something I''e really wanted to do!), I will learn a new form of dance (Already done Garba,Cha-Cha-Next up it's JIVE! :D ). I will remind myself each day that perhaps the standards I have set for myself are too high and it is normal to not reach them. It is important,at the end of the day, to accept who you are and love yourself (No matter how cliched it sounds)
"Failure is not negative. It is a teacher. It molds, refines and polishes you so that one day your light will shine for all to see. It isn't the failure you experience that will determine your destiny but your next step and the next that will tell the story of your life"
Xoxo
Nikita
